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Yo Mama Jokes - You Momma Jokes - SO FAT - SO STUPID
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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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YO MAMA SO FAT >>

when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"

they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

cows graze by her for the shade

she's got her own area code!

she eats Wheat Thicks.

she shows up on radar

when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.

she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

she could be the eighth continent

when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

she cant tie her own shoes

she fell and made the Grand Canyon

she uses a mattress for a tampon.

she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them

when you get on top of her your ears pop

when she back up she beep.

when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

she fell in love and broke it

when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

she puts on her belt with a boomerang

when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.

the phone company gave her two area codes

the whale from Free Willy freed her

she's on both sides of the family

a picture of her fell off the wall!

the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"

I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side!

the animals at the zoo feed her.

we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"

NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

she broke her leg, and gravy poured out

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship

she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out

she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat

when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"

when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

she has a run in her blue-jeans!


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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!

she has to creep up on bathwater.


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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>

she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's

she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.

when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"

she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog

she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds

she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

she farted and put herself into an orbit

she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"

she stands in two time zones

when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

she asked you "What is the number for 911".

she don't take pictures, she takes posters

that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

her baby pictures were taken by satellite

when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas

she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills

she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

she sits on the TV and watches the sofa



she sold her car for gasoline money!

she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon

when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.

she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.

when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"

her favorite dress is a tent

she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone

I strangled her with a cordless phone

she ordered her sushi well done.

when you get on top of her your ears pop

the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"

when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat

she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her

the only thing attracted to her is gravity

she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.

she got on an airplane and only the wings took off

you have to dig for her IQ!

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color

when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up

small objects tend to orbit her

she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops

she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.

people jog around her for exercise


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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>

she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%

she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

they have to grease the bath tub to get her out

when she gets up, the sun goes down

when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her

she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone

they push her face into dough to make cookies.

when she passes by your bathroom, the toilet flushes

her belly button's got an echo

the prince would rather live as a frog than kiss her

she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops

she has to wear a sock on each toe

she don't take pictures, she takes posters

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

people jog around her for exercise

when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun

when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean

she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

She has to use a VCR as a beeper

she fell and made the Grand Canyon

I strangled her with a cordless phone

when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"

everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil

she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals

she puts on her belt with a boomerang

she sells shade in the summer

when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas

when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

she turned Medusa to stone!

when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends

when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose

she scares the roaches away.

when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"

when she was born, they put her in an incubator with tinted windows

when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"

even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse

instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her

she has her own zip code

she sits on the TV and watches the sofa

when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up

for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it

she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"

the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs

she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"

she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills

she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog

I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship


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YO MAMA SO OLD >>

I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

she owes Jesus a nickel.

when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

she's got Jesus' beeper number.

she used to baby-sit Yoda.

she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.

when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.

she ran track with dinosaurs.

when she reads the bible she reminisces.

she owes Moses a quarter.

she has a Jesus Starter jacket.

she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

her birth-certificate expired.

when she was young rainbows were black and white.

she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

she baby-sat for Jesus.

she planted the first tree at Central Park.

she was a waitress at the last supper.

she watches PBS.

that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

her memory is in black and white.

Jurassic Park brought back memories.

she has all the apostles in her black book.

when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.

she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

she owes Jesus 3 bucks!

she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

she farts out mummy dust.

she used to baby-sit Jesus.

she drove a chariot to high school.

her birthday expired.

she's in Jesus's yearbook!

she co-wrote the ten commandments.

she has Adam & Eve's autographs.

and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

she has Jesus' beeper number!

she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.



she has an autographed bible.

when she was in school there was no history class.

her birth certificate says expired on it.

when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

her social security number is 1.


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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>

she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

she drives a peanut.

when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!

she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

she can't afford to pay attention!

when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.


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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>

she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

she went to night school and was marked absent!

she spits chocolate milk!

that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.


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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>

she does backflips under the bed.

she poses for trophies!

she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

she can play handball on the curb.


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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>

She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!

the fishery be paying her to leave

she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

she made right guard turn left.

she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

her tits give sour milk.

she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

she breeds crabs.

I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

she made speed stick slow down.

she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.

a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.

I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.

that her shit is glad to escape.

Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"

when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt

she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh

she has to creep up on bathwater.

she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.

she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."

she made Speed Stick slow down.



she brings crabs to the beach

her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.

she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.

she made Right Guard turn left.

she's got more clap than an auditorium.

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"


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YO MOMMA LIKE >>

a window, always open.

a shotgun, one cock and she blows.

a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.

Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.

a microwave, one button and she's hot.

a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!

a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.

a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.

a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.

speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.

Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.

a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.

cake mix, 15 servings per package!

an ATM, open 24 hours.

an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.

a shotgun: one cock and she blows!

a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.

a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.

a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.

McDonalds... What you want is what you get.

a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.

a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!

a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!

a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.

a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.

a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.

Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.

Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.

a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.

a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.

a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"

a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.

a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.

potato chips-- Fri-to Lay

the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.

a mail box, open day and night.

Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"

Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing

a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.

cheap liquor, tastes like shit.

Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.

a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

a door knob, everybody gets a turn.

a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.

the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.

a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.

McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.

mustard, she spreads easy.

a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.

7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.

a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"

a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.

the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!

a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.

a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.


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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>

she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.

her breasts look like coconuts.

she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

she's got afros on her nipples!

she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

Bigfoot is taking her picture!

she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.

if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.

she has afros on her nipples.

she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."

you almost died of rug burn at birth.

she shaved her ass and she disappeared.

she shaves with a weedwacker.


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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>

that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.

when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!

she blind and seeing another man.

is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.

she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"

she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!

I fucked her and I's a chick!

she could suck-start a Harley!

she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive

that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.


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YO MAMA SO BIG >>

she rollerskates on busses.

you can go bowling with her boogers!

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

her belly button's got an echo.

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

when she stands up the sun goes out

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.


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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>

Texaco buys Oil from her

she used bacon as a band-aid!

she sweats Crisco!


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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>

traffic slows down when she smiles!

she spits butter!


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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>

she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.


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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>

she has to wear a belt with spandex.

she hula hoops with a cheerio

she turned sideways and dissapeared.


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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>

you can see whats on her mind

even a wig wouldn't help!

that she took a shower and got brain-washed.


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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>

she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.

she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.


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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>

she's jealous of the wall!


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YO MAMA GLASSES >>

she can see into the future.



that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.


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YO MOMMA HAS >>

a short arm and can't applaude.

4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

one hand and a Clapper.

a glass eye with a fish in it.

one leg and a bicycle.

a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.

a 'fro with warning lights.

an afro with a chin strap.

green hair and thinks she's a tree.

one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

a short leg and walks in circles.



so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

10 fingers--all on the same hand.


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YO MAMMA GOT >>

so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!



a metal afro with rusty sideburns.

two wooden legs and one is one backward.

three fingers and a banjo.

a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!

a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

a wooden leg with branches.

so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.

a bald head with a part and sideburns.


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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>

you have to go outside to change your mind.

that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.


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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!

she has to creep up on bathwater.


*****************

YO MOMMA SO BIG >>

she rollerskates on busses.

you can go bowling with her boogers!

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

her belly button's got an echo.

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

when she stands up the sun goes out

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.


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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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