YO MAMA SO FAT >>
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
she's got her own area code!
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
her belly button's got an echo
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
she eats Wheat Thicks.
you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she shows up on radar
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
she stands in two time zones
one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.
she has to fly cargo class
sets off car alarms when she runs.
when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
we're in her right now
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
she farted and put herself into an orbit
that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
when she farts the whole planet came out.
when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please
when she has sex, she has to give directions!
she was baptized at Marine World.
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
a picture of her would fall off the wall
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
her nickname is "DAMN"
she sells shade in the summer
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
she has her own zip code
we're inside her right now.
one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
she has a run in her blue-jeans!
she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"
she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
that she cant tie her own shoes.
when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
people jog around her for exercise
when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
she uses a mattress for a tampon.
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color
she sells shade in the summer
she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog
she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
her favorite dress is a tent
she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
she farted and put herself into an orbit
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
she needs a building permit for her girdle
she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico
she has to wear a sock on each toe
she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
her belly button's got an echo
she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.
she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.
she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
small objects tend to orbit her
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
she fell and made the Grand Canyon
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
she shows up on radar
when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.
when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
she fell in love and broke it
she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
she took a spoon to the superbowl.
when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"
she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's
she thought asphalt was a skin disease. she thought Delt a Airlines was a sorority.
her senior picture had to be an aerial view
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she jumped out the window and went up.
she got fired from a blow-job.
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
she turned Medusa to stone!
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
small objects tend to orbit her
the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog
we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!
when she was born, they put her in an incubator with tinted windows
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
when she gets up, the sun goes down
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
she makes blind kids cry
her favorite dress is a tent
when she passes by your bathroom, the toilet flushes
she stands up on an empty bus
the phone company gave her two area codes
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
she puts on her belt with a boomerang
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
she bought a solar-powered flashlight
she cant tie her own shoes
when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"
when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"
they knew what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
a picture of her would fall off the wall
she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
she fell in love and broke it
I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
her senior picture had to be an aerial view
that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end
she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
they push her face into dough to make cookies.
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second
when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back
the government moved Halloween to her birthday
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
the prince would rather live as a frog than kiss her
she needs a building permit for her girdle
her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
she watches PBS.
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
her birth-certificate expired.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she has all the apostles in her black book.
she baby-sat for Jesus.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
her birthday expired.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
when she was in school there was no history class.
she farts out mummy dust.
her memory is in black and white.
she drove a chariot to high school.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she has an autographed bible.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
her social security number is 1.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
she can't afford to pay attention!
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
she drives a peanut.
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
she spits chocolate milk!
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
she went to night school and was marked absent!
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
she does backflips under the bed.
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she can play handball on the curb.
she poses for trophies!
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
her tits give sour milk.
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she made Right Guard turn left.
she brings crabs to the beach
she breeds crabs.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
she made right guard turn left.
that her shit is glad to escape.
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
she made Speed Stick slow down.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
the fishery be paying her to leave
she made speed stick slow down.
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.
a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"
a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.
a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
lettuce, 25 cents a head.
the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
a microwave, one button and she's hot.
McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."
a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.
a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
cake mix, 15 servings per package!
a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!
a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers.
a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.
a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.
Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
a library, open to the public.
a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
her breasts look like coconuts.
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
she shaves with a weedwacker.
she's got afros on her nipples!
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
she has afros on her nipples.
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
I fucked her and I's a chick!
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
she could suck-start a Harley!
she blind and seeing another man.
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
you can go bowling with her boogers!
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
she rollerskates on busses.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
when she stands up the sun goes out
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
her belly button's got an echo.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
she sweats Crisco!
Texaco buys Oil from her
she used bacon as a band-aid!
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
traffic slows down when she smiles!
she spits butter!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
she hula hoops with a cheerio
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
you can see whats on her mind
even a wig wouldn't help!
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
she can see into the future.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
one leg and a bicycle.
one hand and a Clapper.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
a 'fro with warning lights.
a short arm and can't applaude.
an afro with a chin strap.
a short leg and walks in circles.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
a wooden leg with branches.
three fingers and a banjo.
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
you have to go outside to change your mind.
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
you can go bowling with her boogers!
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
she rollerskates on busses.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
when she stands up the sun goes out
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
her belly button's got an echo.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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