YO MAMA SO FAT >>
she eats Wheat Thicks.
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
she got hit by a parked car!
when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo Momma Jokes and Insults
that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her
she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"
her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
we're inside her right now.
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
she shows up on radar
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
she has to iron her pants on the driveway
we're in her right now
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"
she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
small objects tend to orbit her
when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
the whale from Free Willy freed her
one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
her picture takes two frames.
when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"
she needs a building permit for her girdle
she puts on her belt with a boomerang
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us
she was baptized at Marine World.
that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
she could be the eighth continent
when you get on top of her your ears pop
she stole free bread.
she jumped out the window and went up.
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"
she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's
she fell in love and broke it
she needs a building permit for her girdle
she stands in two time zones
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"
her favorite dress is a tent
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
she took a spoon to the superbowl.
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
she used a vibrator for an egg beater.
she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.
the phone company gave her two area codes
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.
she asked you "What is the number for 911".
she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon
she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."
when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.
she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.
I strangled her with a cordless phone
she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.
her senior picture had to be an aerial view
she thought asphalt was a skin disease. she thought Delt a Airlines was a sorority.
she cant tie her own shoes
the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
when she passes by your bathroom, the toilet flushes
they push her face into dough to make cookies.
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
people go as her for Halloween.
the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
her parents first named her "Accident"
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color
when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"
she needs a building permit for her girdle
people jog around her for exercise
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
she sits on the TV and watches the sofa
they push her face into the dough to make gorilla cookies
when she gets up, the sun goes down
they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
she cant tie her own shoes
the NHL banned her for life
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it!
she has to fly cargo class
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
the prince would rather live as a frog than kiss her
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
she watches PBS.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
when she was in school there was no history class.
she farts out mummy dust.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
her social security number is 1.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she baby-sat for Jesus.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
her birth-certificate expired.
she drove a chariot to high school.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
her birthday expired.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
she has all the apostles in her black book.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
her memory is in black and white.
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she has an autographed bible.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
she can't afford to pay attention!
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
she drives a peanut.
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
she went to night school and was marked absent!
she spits chocolate milk!
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
she can play handball on the curb.
she poses for trophies!
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
she does backflips under the bed.
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
her tits give sour milk.
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she made Speed Stick slow down.
she made right guard turn left.
she brings crabs to the beach
the fishery be paying her to leave
she made speed stick slow down.
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
she made Right Guard turn left.
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
she breeds crabs.
that her shit is glad to escape.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.
Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
cake mix, 15 servings per package!
a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."
a mail box, open day and night.
a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.
a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.
Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers.
the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
mustard, she spreads easy.
McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
a microwave, one button and she's hot.
the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
Burger King... Your way, right away.
a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
a window, always open.
a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
she has afros on her nipples.
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
she's got afros on her nipples!
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
her breasts look like coconuts.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
she shaves with a weedwacker.
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
I fucked her and I's a chick!
she could suck-start a Harley!
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
she blind and seeing another man.
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she rollerskates on busses.
you can go bowling with her boogers!
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
her belly button's got an echo.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
when she stands up the sun goes out
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
she sweats Crisco!
Texaco buys Oil from her
she used bacon as a band-aid!
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
she spits butter!
traffic slows down when she smiles!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she hula hoops with a cheerio
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
even a wig wouldn't help!
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
you can see whats on her mind
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
she can see into the future.
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
one hand and a Clapper.
an afro with a chin strap.
a 'fro with warning lights.
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
a short leg and walks in circles.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
one leg and a bicycle.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
a short arm and can't applaude.
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
a wooden leg with branches.
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
three fingers and a banjo.
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
you have to go outside to change your mind.
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she rollerskates on busses.
you can go bowling with her boogers!
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
her belly button's got an echo.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
when she stands up the sun goes out
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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