YO MAMA SO FAT >>
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it
when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
she fell in love and broke it
she was baptised in the ocean.
when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
she needs a building permit for her girdle
when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out
small objects tend to orbit her
the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!
when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!
when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
that she cant tie her own shoes.
when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo Momma Jokes and Insults
she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
she farted and put herself into an orbit
sets off car alarms when she runs.
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
when she back up she beep.
she has to buy two airline tickets.
the animals at the zoo feed her.
when she farts the whole planet came out.
her favorite dress is a tent
she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
she was baptized at Marine World.
her car is made of spandex.
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.
she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
she needs a building permit for her girdle
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them
she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays
the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
she shows up on radar
she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
she fell and made the Grand Canyon
she stands up on an empty bus
she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she wiped her ass before she took a shit.
that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
she has to wear a sock on each toe
she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil
you have to dig for her IQ!
when you get on top of her your ears pop
her belly button's got an echo
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
she influences the tides
she wakes up in sections
when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
she sits on the TV and watches the sofa
I strangled her with a cordless phone
she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
she took a spoon to the superbowl.
she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
the phone company gave her two area codes
she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
she took a cup to see Juice.
she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
her senior picture had to be an aerial view
when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second
her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
she shows up on radar
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"
when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them
they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
her mom had to feed her with a slingshot
they knew what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
she looks out the window and gets arrested!
when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills
that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
she fell and made the Grand Canyon
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
when you get on top of her your ears pop
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"
she bought a solar-powered flashlight
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
she fell in love and broke it
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays
she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
when she was born, her mom said, "What a treasure!"; and your dad replied, "Yeah, let's go bury it"
she farted and put herself into an orbit
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color
when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
she sells shade in the summer
people go as her for Halloween.
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end
she got hit by a parked car
she stands up on an empty bus
the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
her birthday expired.
she watches PBS.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
she has an autographed bible.
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
she baby-sat for Jesus.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
she drove a chariot to high school.
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
she has all the apostles in her black book.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
when she was in school there was no history class.
her social security number is 1.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she farts out mummy dust.
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
she was a waitress at the last supper.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
her birth-certificate expired.
her memory is in black and white.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
she drives a peanut.
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
she can't afford to pay attention!
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
she went to night school and was marked absent!
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
she spits chocolate milk!
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she does backflips under the bed.
she poses for trophies!
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
she can play handball on the curb.
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she brings crabs to the beach
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
that her shit is glad to escape.
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
she made right guard turn left.
she breeds crabs.
the fishery be paying her to leave
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
she made Speed Stick slow down.
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
her tits give sour milk.
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she made speed stick slow down.
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she made Right Guard turn left.
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
Denny's... open 24 hours.
a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.
a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.
a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!
a microwave, one button and she's hot.
a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.
Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
an ATM, open 24 hours.
a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
a window, always open.
a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.
a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
mustard, she spreads easy.
a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still l comes back for more.
McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.
a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
Discover card, she gives cash back.
an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.
a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"
Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
she has afros on her nipples.
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
her breasts look like coconuts.
she shaves with a weedwacker.
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
she's got afros on her nipples!
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
I fucked her and I's a chick!
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
she blind and seeing another man.
she could suck-start a Harley!
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she rollerskates on busses.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
when she stands up the sun goes out
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
you can go bowling with her boogers!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
her belly button's got an echo.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
Texaco buys Oil from her
she used bacon as a band-aid!
she sweats Crisco!
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
traffic slows down when she smiles!
she spits butter!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she hula hoops with a cheerio
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
even a wig wouldn't help!
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
you can see whats on her mind
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
she can see into the future.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
an afro with a chin strap.
a short leg and walks in circles.
a short arm and can't applaude.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
one hand and a Clapper.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
a 'fro with warning lights.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
one leg and a bicycle.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
a wooden leg with branches.
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
three fingers and a banjo.
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
you have to go outside to change your mind.
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she rollerskates on busses.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
when she stands up the sun goes out
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
you can go bowling with her boogers!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
her belly button's got an echo.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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