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Yo Mama Jokes - You Momma Jokes - SO FAT - SO STUPID
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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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YO MAMA SO FAT >>

when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"

even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

she was baptized at Marine World.

she influences the tides

when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun

her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"

when you get on top of her your ears pop

the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

her car is made of spandex.

she has to wear a sock on each toe

the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts

she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.

she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

she has a run in her blue-jeans!

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

she don't take pictures, she takes posters

the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs

her belly button's got an echo

everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil

when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.

when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

she's got her own area code!

when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo Momma Jokes and Insults

when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

she needs a building permit for her girdle

she could sell shade.

if she were an aeroplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.

she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops

she's on both sides of the family

she sells shade in the summer

the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale

when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

she could be the eighth continent

she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her

when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

she broke her leg, and gravy poured out


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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to creep up on bathwater.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.


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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>

she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book

when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun

when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

she used a vibrator for an egg beater.

when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color

she invented a solar powered flashlight.

she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills

she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

her favorite dress is a tent

she bought a solar-powered flashlight

she sold the house to pay the mortgage.

she took a spoon to the superbowl.

she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.

when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"

when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas

when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship

when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."

she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button

she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops

when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"

after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

she fell in love and broke it

she fell and made the Grand Canyon

she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops

when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.

she took a cup to see Juice.

she's on both sides of the family

I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.

she thought meow mix was a record for cats.



small objects tend to orbit her

she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

she needs a building permit for her girdle

she sits on the TV and watches the sofa

she could be the eighth continent

she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.

when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean

when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

she got stabbed in a shoot out.

she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

she thought asphalt was a skin disease. she thought Delt a Airlines was a sorority.

she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out

she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%

she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us

when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo

she jumped out the window and went up.

she ordered her sushi well done.


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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>

she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays

she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops

when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

they have to grease the bath tub to get her out

when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"

she has her own zip code

she sits on the TV and watches the sofa

Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas

she got on an airplane and only the wings took off

she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

she stands up on an empty bus

when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her

they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it

when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo

the phone company gave her two area codes

she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out

they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico

she has to wear a sock on each toe

when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends

I strangled her with a cordless phone

when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them

she shows up on radar

she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed

her senior picture had to be an aerial view

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship

that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse

she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon



she broke her leg, and gravy poured out

she don't take pictures, she takes posters

when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back

the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down

for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

they knew what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!

when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"

when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"

her favorite dress is a tent

if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

when you get on top of her your ears pop

she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"

the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds

she fell and made the Grand Canyon

people jog around her for exercise

when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"

the government moved Halloween to her birthday

she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks

when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"

when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up

I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

small objects tend to orbit her


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YO MAMA SO OLD >>

the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

she was a waitress at the last supper.

she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

her social security number is 1.

she farts out mummy dust.

she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.

she owes Jesus a nickel.

she has a Jesus Starter jacket.

she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

she has Jesus' beeper number!

the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

her birthday expired.

she has Adam & Eve's autographs.

she's got Jesus' beeper number.

she's in Jesus's yearbook!

Jurassic Park brought back memories.

she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

she owes Moses a quarter.

she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.

when she was young rainbows were black and white.

when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

when she was in school there was no history class.

her birth certificate says expired on it.

and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

her memory is in black and white.

she used to baby-sit Jesus.

her birth-certificate expired.

she watches PBS.

when she reads the bible she reminisces.

when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

she has an autographed bible.

she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

she drove a chariot to high school.

she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

she ran track with dinosaurs.

she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

she used to baby-sit Yoda.

she planted the first tree at Central Park.

she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.

she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

she has all the apostles in her black book.

when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

she owes Jesus 3 bucks!



she baby-sat for Jesus.

she co-wrote the ten commandments.


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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>

she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

she drives a peanut.

she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

she can't afford to pay attention!

she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!

when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"


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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>

that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

she spits chocolate milk!

she went to night school and was marked absent!


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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>

she poses for trophies!

you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

she does backflips under the bed.

she can play handball on the curb.

she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.


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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>

that her shit is glad to escape.

I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

she has to creep up on bathwater.



she made speed stick slow down.

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"

she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh

Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

the fishery be paying her to leave

when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt

She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!

she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

she made Speed Stick slow down.

she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.

she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."

she breeds crabs.

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"

she made right guard turn left.

her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.

she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

her tits give sour milk.

she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.

she's got more clap than an auditorium.

she brings crabs to the beach

she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.

she made Right Guard turn left.

she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.

I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.

they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.


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YO MOMMA LIKE >>

mustard, she spreads easy.

a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!

a microwave, one button and she's hot.

Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.

a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!

a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.

cheap liquor, tastes like shit.

a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!

McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.

a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!

a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers.

a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.

a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.

an ATM, open 24 hours.

Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"

a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.

Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.

cake mix, 15 servings per package!

chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!

the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.

a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.

Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.

a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.

an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.

a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.

speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.

a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.

a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.

a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.

a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.

a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"

a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.

the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.

a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"

a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.

a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.

lettuce, 25 cents a head.

a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.

a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.

a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."

Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.

Burger King... Your way, right away.

a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.

a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.

a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!

a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!

the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.

a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.

a window, always open.



McDonalds... What you want is what you get.

Discover card, she gives cash back.

Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing

the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!


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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>

she's got afros on her nipples!

you almost died of rug burn at birth.

if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.

she shaved her ass and she disappeared.

she has afros on her nipples.

she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."

Bigfoot is taking her picture!

she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.

she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.

she shaves with a weedwacker.

her breasts look like coconuts.


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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>

I fucked her and I's a chick!

she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"

is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.

she blind and seeing another man.

she could suck-start a Harley!

that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.

that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.

she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive

when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!

she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!


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YO MAMA SO BIG >>

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

you can go bowling with her boogers!

she rollerskates on busses.

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

her belly button's got an echo.

when she stands up the sun goes out

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.


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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>

she used bacon as a band-aid!

she sweats Crisco!

Texaco buys Oil from her


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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>

she spits butter!

traffic slows down when she smiles!


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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>

she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.


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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>

she hula hoops with a cheerio

she has to wear a belt with spandex.

she turned sideways and dissapeared.


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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>

even a wig wouldn't help!

you can see whats on her mind

that she took a shower and got brain-washed.


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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>

she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.

she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.


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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>

she's jealous of the wall!


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YO MAMA GLASSES >>

that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

she can see into the future.




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YO MOMMA HAS >>

green hair and thinks she's a tree.

a short arm and can't applaude.

a glass eye with a fish in it.

a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.

so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.



4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

one hand and a Clapper.

a 'fro with warning lights.

one leg and a bicycle.

an afro with a chin strap.

a short leg and walks in circles.

10 fingers--all on the same hand.

one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.


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YO MAMMA GOT >>

so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.



a wooden leg with branches.

a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!

a bald head with a part and sideburns.

three fingers and a banjo.

a metal afro with rusty sideburns.

a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

two wooden legs and one is one backward.


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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>

that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

you have to go outside to change your mind.

she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.


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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to creep up on bathwater.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.


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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

you can go bowling with her boogers!

she rollerskates on busses.

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

her belly button's got an echo.

when she stands up the sun goes out

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.


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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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