YO MAMA SO FAT >>
she has her own zip code
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
she jumped in the air and got stuck.
and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!
her favorite dress is a tent
one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
she fell in love and broke it
the animals at the zoo feed her.
when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo Momma Jokes and Insults
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
we're in her right now
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
she got hit by a parked car!
she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
she was baptised in the ocean.
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"
that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
when she has sex, she has to give directions!
she could sell shade.
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
she was baptized at Marine World.
all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
she farted and put herself into an orbit
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
she influences the tides
she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
her belly button's got an echo
cows graze by her for the shade
when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock
that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.
her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
she has to iron her pants on the driveway
when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays
she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
she asked you "What is the number for 911".
she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
she fell and made the Grand Canyon
when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.
she has to wear a sock on each toe
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
people jog around her for exercise
she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's
everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil
cows graze by her for the shade
she could be the eighth continent
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
she has her own zip code
she ordered her sushi well done.
she puts on her belt with a boomerang
a picture of her would fall off the wall
she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.
she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.
when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
she wakes up in sections
that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
she got hit by a parked car
she cant tie her own shoes
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
she puts on her belt with a boomerang
she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
she sells shade in the summer
I strangled her with a cordless phone
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end
the prince would rather live as a frog than kiss her
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
she fell and made the Grand Canyon
her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
she has to wear a sock on each toe
the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
they push her face into the dough to make gorilla cookies
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
she has to fly cargo class
people jog around her for exercise
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she stands in two time zones
she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
when she was born, her mom said, "What a treasure!"; and your dad replied, "Yeah, let's go bury it"
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
her favorite dress is a tent
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother
she fell in love and broke it
she got hit by a parked car
they push her face into dough to make cookies.
when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"
the phone company gave her two area codes
cows graze by her for the shade
they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
small objects tend to orbit her
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it
that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she watches PBS.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
she farts out mummy dust.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
she has all the apostles in her black book.
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she has Jesus' beeper number!
her memory is in black and white.
when she was in school there was no history class.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
she has an autographed bible.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
she drove a chariot to high school.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
her social security number is 1.
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
her birth-certificate expired.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
her birthday expired.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
she baby-sat for Jesus.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
she drives a peanut.
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
she can't afford to pay attention!
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
she went to night school and was marked absent!
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
she spits chocolate milk!
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she can play handball on the curb.
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
she poses for trophies!
she does backflips under the bed.
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
she made Right Guard turn left.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she breeds crabs.
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
she brings crabs to the beach
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
she made speed stick slow down.
her tits give sour milk.
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she made right guard turn left.
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
that her shit is glad to escape.
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
she made Speed Stick slow down.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
the fishery be paying her to leave
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.
Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.
a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
lettuce, 25 cents a head.
a window, always open.
a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
an ATM, open 24 hours.
a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.
a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Denny's... open 24 hours.
a library, open to the public.
a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers.
a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
a mail box, open day and night.
speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."
potato chips-- Fri-to Lay
Burger King... Your way, right away.
a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
her breasts look like coconuts.
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
she's got afros on her nipples!
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
she has afros on her nipples.
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
she shaves with a weedwacker.
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
she could suck-start a Harley!
I fucked her and I's a chick!
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
she blind and seeing another man.
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
you can go bowling with her boogers!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
when she stands up the sun goes out
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
her belly button's got an echo.
she rollerskates on busses.
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
Texaco buys Oil from her
she sweats Crisco!
she used bacon as a band-aid!
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
traffic slows down when she smiles!
she spits butter!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she hula hoops with a cheerio
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
you can see whats on her mind
even a wig wouldn't help!
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
she can see into the future.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
a short arm and can't applaude.
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
one hand and a Clapper.
an afro with a chin strap.
a 'fro with warning lights.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
a short leg and walks in circles.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
one leg and a bicycle.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
a wooden leg with branches.
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
three fingers and a banjo.
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
you have to go outside to change your mind.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
you can go bowling with her boogers!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
when she stands up the sun goes out
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
her belly button's got an echo.
she rollerskates on busses.
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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