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Yo Mama Jokes - You Momma Jokes - SO FAT - SO STUPID
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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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YO MAMA SO FAT >>

she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon

she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

we're inside her right now.

when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"

you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!

she wakes up in sections

all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.

the only thing attracted to her is gravity

when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"

her senior picture had to be an aerial view

we're in her right now

she was baptised in the ocean.

she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon

when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas

when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"

one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.

she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone

if she were an aeroplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.

she has her own zip code

instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

her baby pictures were taken by satellite

at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

the phone company gave her two area codes

she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%

when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship

when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"

she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her

when she dances, she makes the band skip.

she needs a building permit for her girdle

when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

she uses a mattress for a tampon.

she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

She has to use a VCR as a beeper

when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo Momma Jokes and Insults

when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.

she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us

she jumped in the air and got stuck.

everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil


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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to creep up on bathwater.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.


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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>

she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends

she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.

she shows up on radar

she sells shade in the summer

she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"

she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.

I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.

she has her own zip code

she stands in two time zones

she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's

she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.

she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"

she puts on her belt with a boomerang

her favorite dress is a tent

she bought a solar-powered flashlight

She has to use a VCR as a beeper



when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.

when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them

she stole free bread.

everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil

when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up

she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.

she wiped her ass before she took a shit.

I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back

she could be the eighth continent

when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight

she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

she sits on the TV and watches the sofa

it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"

she fell in love and broke it

small objects tend to orbit her

her belly button's got an echo

when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her

she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.

she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

she took a cup to see Juice.

she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.

she farted and put herself into an orbit

she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog

they have to grease the bath tub to get her out

I strangled her with a cordless phone

she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

that she sold the car for gas money.

she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills

she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals


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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>

she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills

she scares the roaches away.

when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose

we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

She has to use a VCR as a beeper

she broke her leg, and gravy poured out

they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"

her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"

that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

when she was born, her mom said, "What a treasure!"; and your dad replied, "Yeah, let's go bury it"

her parents first named her "Accident"

she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone

her mom had to feed her with a slingshot

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship

she's on both sides of the family

when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends

they put her in dough and made monster cookies!

the government moved Halloween to her birthday

she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico

she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals

even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

she puts on her belt with a boomerang

she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops



she fell and made the Grand Canyon

when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight

when she was born, they put her in an incubator with tinted windows

the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds

she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button

they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon

she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second

when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her

when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"

she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor

they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

she has to fly cargo class

the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts

she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%

when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her

she made an onion cry.

her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

she wakes up in sections

she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it!

I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

the phone company gave her two area codes

when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

when you get on top of her your ears pop


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YO MAMA SO OLD >>

she has an autographed bible.

when she was young rainbows were black and white.

the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

she's in Jesus's yearbook!

she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

she baby-sat for Jesus.

she used to baby-sit Jesus.

she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

her memory is in black and white.

she ran track with dinosaurs.

when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

she's got Jesus' beeper number.

she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.

she was a waitress at the last supper.

when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

she used to baby-sit Yoda.

and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

she has all the apostles in her black book.

she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

she planted the first tree at Central Park.

she has a Jesus Starter jacket.

she drove a chariot to high school.



she watches PBS.

she owes Jesus a nickel.

she has Adam & Eve's autographs.

when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.

she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

her birthday expired.

her social security number is 1.

her birth certificate says expired on it.

when she was in school there was no history class.

her birth-certificate expired.

she has Jesus' beeper number!

I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

she owes Jesus 3 bucks!

when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

Jurassic Park brought back memories.

when she reads the bible she reminisces.

she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

she farts out mummy dust.

she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

she owes Moses a quarter.

she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.

she co-wrote the ten commandments.

I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.


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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>

she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

she drives a peanut.

she can't afford to pay attention!

she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!

your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!


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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>

that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

she went to night school and was marked absent!

she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

she spits chocolate milk!


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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>

you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

she can play handball on the curb.

she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

she does backflips under the bed.

she poses for trophies!


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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>

her tits give sour milk.

Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"

she has to creep up on bathwater.

she breeds crabs.

I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

she made Right Guard turn left.

she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.

she's got more clap than an auditorium.



she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.

she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.

she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.

she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!

that her shit is glad to escape.

I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.

when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"

the fishery be paying her to leave

she brings crabs to the beach

they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.

she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."

she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

she made speed stick slow down.

she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.

she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh

she made Speed Stick slow down.

she made right guard turn left.


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YO MOMMA LIKE >>

a library, open to the public.

a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!

cake mix, 15 servings per package!

a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.

a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.

a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.

Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.

a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!

potato chips-- Fri-to Lay

a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"

speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.

a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.

a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!

lettuce, 25 cents a head.

a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"

Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"

a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.

Discover card, she gives cash back.

an ATM, open 24 hours.

McDonalds... What you want is what you get.

a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.

Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.

the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!

McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.

mustard, she spreads easy.

a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.

a microwave, one button and she's hot.

a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.

a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!

a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.

a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."

a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.

a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.

7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.

a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.

a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.

a shotgun: one cock and she blows!



a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.

a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.

an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.

a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.

Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.

Burger King... Your way, right away.

a shotgun, one cock and she blows.

a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.

a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.

a mail box, open day and night.

a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.

a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!

a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.

a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!

McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.

a door knob, everybody gets a turn.

Denny's... open 24 hours.


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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>

she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

Bigfoot is taking her picture!

she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."

she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.

she has afros on her nipples.

she's got afros on her nipples!

you almost died of rug burn at birth.

if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.

her breasts look like coconuts.

she shaved her ass and she disappeared.

she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.

she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

she shaves with a weedwacker.


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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>

she blind and seeing another man.

she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"

she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive

is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.

I fucked her and I's a chick!

she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!

she could suck-start a Harley!

that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.

that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.

when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!


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YO MAMA SO BIG >>

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.

she rollerskates on busses.

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

you can go bowling with her boogers!

when she stands up the sun goes out

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

her belly button's got an echo.


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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>

she sweats Crisco!

Texaco buys Oil from her

she used bacon as a band-aid!


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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>

traffic slows down when she smiles!

she spits butter!


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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>

she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.


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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>

she has to wear a belt with spandex.

she turned sideways and dissapeared.

she hula hoops with a cheerio


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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>

that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

even a wig wouldn't help!

you can see whats on her mind


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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>

she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.


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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>

she's jealous of the wall!


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YO MAMA GLASSES >>

she can see into the future.



that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.


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YO MOMMA HAS >>

10 fingers--all on the same hand.

a glass eye with a fish in it.

green hair and thinks she's a tree.

one leg and a bicycle.

one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

a short leg and walks in circles.



so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

an afro with a chin strap.

a 'fro with warning lights.

a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.

one hand and a Clapper.

4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

a short arm and can't applaude.


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YO MAMMA GOT >>

three fingers and a banjo.

a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!

a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

two wooden legs and one is one backward.



so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

a metal afro with rusty sideburns.

a bald head with a part and sideburns.

so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.

a wooden leg with branches.


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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>

that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.

you have to go outside to change your mind.


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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to creep up on bathwater.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.


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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.

she rollerskates on busses.

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

you can go bowling with her boogers!

when she stands up the sun goes out

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

her belly button's got an echo.


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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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