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Yo Mama Jokes - You Momma Jokes - SO FAT - SO STUPID
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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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YO MAMA SO FAT >>

the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts

they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it

she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

people jog around her for exercise

when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil

she got hit by a parked car!

she's got her own area code!

she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

she was baptised in the ocean.

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship

she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.

when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

she broke her leg, and gravy poured out

the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!

she got on an airplane and only the wings took off

that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%

she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

she jumped in the air and got stuck.

when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her

her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

she eats Wheat Thicks.

when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

she stands in two time zones

when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"

her nickname is "DAMN"



the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.

she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out

she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"

when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops

she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us

all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun

she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon

when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"

when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose

when she has sex, she has to give directions!


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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

she has to creep up on bathwater.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!


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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>

she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.

it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

she broke her leg, and gravy poured out

I strangled her with a cordless phone

when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"

her senior picture had to be an aerial view

when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her

she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

she sold the car for gas money.

she invented a solar powered flashlight.

she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship

when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her

the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's

she fell in love and broke it

when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up

she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.

she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.

she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog

when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends

she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

she stands in two time zones

after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat

she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone

she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.

she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops

she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays

she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.

she stole free bread.

her baby pictures were taken by satellite

when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.

she got fired from a blow-job.

she thought hamburger helper came with another person.

she got stabbed in a shoot out.

she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

she influences the tides

she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button

she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.

she took a spoon to the superbowl.

she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.

small objects tend to orbit her

she wakes up in sections

I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.


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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>

she stands in two time zones

she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat

people jog around her for exercise

that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse

she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

she fell and made the Grand Canyon

when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

she got hit by a parked car

she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us

she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone

if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!

she cant tie her own shoes

she has to iron her pants on the driveway

they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book

when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back

when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"

her senior picture had to be an aerial view

when she was born, they put her in an incubator with tinted windows

she sits on the TV and watches the sofa

when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them

she puts on her belt with a boomerang

when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck

when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"

She has to use a VCR as a beeper

her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose

when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends

that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

her parents first named her "Accident"

she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon

when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo

she has to fly cargo class

they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

she made an onion cry.

the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"

we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

she sells shade in the summer

her belly button's got an echo

they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

she shows up on radar

she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon

she could be the eighth continent

she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops

instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

her mom had to feed her with a slingshot

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

the government moved Halloween to her birthday

everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil


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YO MAMA SO OLD >>

she has a Jesus Starter jacket.

she owes Jesus 3 bucks!

when she was young rainbows were black and white.

she baby-sat for Jesus.

she drove a chariot to high school.

when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.

she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

she owes Moses a quarter.

she was a waitress at the last supper.

she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

she planted the first tree at Central Park.

she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

she has all the apostles in her black book.

when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

she has Adam & Eve's autographs.

she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.

she's in Jesus's yearbook!



she co-wrote the ten commandments.

her birthday expired.

when she was in school there was no history class.

she ran track with dinosaurs.

she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

she's got Jesus' beeper number.

when she reads the bible she reminisces.

she owes Jesus a nickel.

her birth-certificate expired.

she has an autographed bible.

she used to baby-sit Jesus.

when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

she farts out mummy dust.

she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

she watches PBS.

Jurassic Park brought back memories.

she has Jesus' beeper number!

her social security number is 1.

when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.

her memory is in black and white.

she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

her birth certificate says expired on it.

I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

she used to baby-sit Yoda.

the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.


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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>

she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

she can't afford to pay attention!

she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

she drives a peanut.

her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!

she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!


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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>

that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

she went to night school and was marked absent!

she spits chocolate milk!

she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.


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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>

she can play handball on the curb.

she poses for trophies!

she does backflips under the bed.

you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.


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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>

she made right guard turn left.

they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.

her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.

a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.

that her shit is glad to escape.

she breeds crabs.

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"

she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

the fishery be paying her to leave

when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt

she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.

she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.

she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh

She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!

she's got more clap than an auditorium.



she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."

she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.

she made Speed Stick slow down.

she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.

her tits give sour milk.

she made Right Guard turn left.

she has to creep up on bathwater.

she made speed stick slow down.

she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

she brings crabs to the beach

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"

I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.


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YO MOMMA LIKE >>

chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!

a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

a shotgun: one cock and she blows!

a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.

a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers.

a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!

a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.

a library, open to the public.

a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.

Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.

a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.

a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.

lettuce, 25 cents a head.

the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.

potato chips-- Fri-to Lay

a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.

a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.

a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.

mustard, she spreads easy.

McDonalds... What you want is what you get.

a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.

a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!

a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.

Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.

7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.

a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.

a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.

a window, always open.

a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.

a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!

a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.

a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.



a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.

a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still l comes back for more.

McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.

speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.

Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.

a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.

a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!

a mail box, open day and night.

a microwave, one button and she's hot.

an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.

a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.

a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.

a door knob, everybody gets a turn.

a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!

a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.

Discover card, she gives cash back.

a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.

the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!

a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.

a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.

a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.

cake mix, 15 servings per package!


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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>

if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.

she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.

you almost died of rug burn at birth.

she's got afros on her nipples!

she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."

Bigfoot is taking her picture!

she shaves with a weedwacker.

her breasts look like coconuts.

she has afros on her nipples.

she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.

she shaved her ass and she disappeared.


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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>

she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive

that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.

she blind and seeing another man.

I fucked her and I's a chick!

she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!

she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"

she could suck-start a Harley!

when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!

that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.

is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.


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YO MAMA SO BIG >>

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

her belly button's got an echo.

she rollerskates on busses.

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

when she stands up the sun goes out

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

you can go bowling with her boogers!

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.


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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>

she used bacon as a band-aid!

Texaco buys Oil from her

she sweats Crisco!


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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>

traffic slows down when she smiles!

she spits butter!


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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>

she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.


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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>

she hula hoops with a cheerio

she turned sideways and dissapeared.

she has to wear a belt with spandex.


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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>

even a wig wouldn't help!

that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

you can see whats on her mind


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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>

she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.


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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>

she's jealous of the wall!


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YO MAMA GLASSES >>



she can see into the future.

that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.


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YO MOMMA HAS >>

one hand and a Clapper.

a 'fro with warning lights.

one leg and a bicycle.

one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

10 fingers--all on the same hand.

an afro with a chin strap.

a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.



a short arm and can't applaude.

4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

a glass eye with a fish in it.

so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

a short leg and walks in circles.

green hair and thinks she's a tree.


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YO MAMMA GOT >>

so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.

a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

a wooden leg with branches.

so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!

three fingers and a banjo.

a bald head with a part and sideburns.

two wooden legs and one is one backward.



a metal afro with rusty sideburns.


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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>

she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.

that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

you have to go outside to change your mind.


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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

she has to creep up on bathwater.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!


*****************

YO MOMMA SO BIG >>

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

her belly button's got an echo.

she rollerskates on busses.

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

when she stands up the sun goes out

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

you can go bowling with her boogers!

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.


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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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