YO MAMA SO FAT >>
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
that she cant tie her own shoes.
when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo Momma Jokes and Insults
you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
her picture takes two frames.
when she bends over we miss 2 days of sunlight
when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
she has to fly cargo class
when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
she uses a mattress for a tampon.
when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
she cant tie her own shoes
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
when we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas
her college graduation picture was an airial.
a picture of her would fall off the wall
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
her car is made of spandex.
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.
when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
she shows up on radar
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.
she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico
when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
small objects tend to orbit her
she's on both sides of the family
she got stabbed in a shoot out.
it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays
when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"
she wakes up in sections
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.
she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.
her senior picture had to be an aerial view
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she stole free bread.
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
cows graze by her for the shade
when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
that she sold the car for gas money.
her belly button's got an echo
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
she needs a building permit for her girdle
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
she jumped out the window and went up.
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
I strangled her with a cordless phone
she cant tie her own shoes
she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.
she took a spoon to the superbowl.
she has to wear a sock on each toe
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
she fell in love and broke it
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
her favorite dress is a tent
when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
she has to iron her pants on the driveway
your daddy takes her to work so he doesn't need to kiss her goodbye
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
she stands in two time zones
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out
she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it!
she farted and put herself into an orbit
she has to wear a sock on each toe
people go as her for Halloween.
they push her face into dough to make cookies.
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she has her own zip code
she made an onion cry.
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals
when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
her senior picture had to be an aerial view
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her
her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down
the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"
when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them
she looks out the window and gets arrested!
small objects tend to orbit her
she influences the tides
when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"
when she passes by your bathroom, the toilet flushes
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
the NHL banned her for life
she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
she baby-sat for Jesus.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
her birthday expired.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she drove a chariot to high school.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
she farts out mummy dust.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she owes Moses a quarter.
her memory is in black and white.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
when she was in school there was no history class.
she has an autographed bible.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
she has all the apostles in her black book.
her social security number is 1.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
her birth-certificate expired.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
she watches PBS.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
she can't afford to pay attention!
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
she drives a peanut.
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
she went to night school and was marked absent!
she spits chocolate milk!
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
she can play handball on the curb.
she poses for trophies!
she does backflips under the bed.
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
she brings crabs to the beach
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
that her shit is glad to escape.
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she made Speed Stick slow down.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
the fishery be paying her to leave
she made speed stick slow down.
she breeds crabs.
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she made right guard turn left.
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
she made Right Guard turn left.
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
her tits give sour milk.
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.
a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
cake mix, 15 servings per package!
the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
lettuce, 25 cents a head.
McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
a microwave, one button and she's hot.
a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"
a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.
a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Discover card, she gives cash back.
a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.
a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
mustard, she spreads easy.
a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
a mail box, open day and night.
a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.
a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.
a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
she's got afros on her nipples!
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
she shaves with a weedwacker.
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
she has afros on her nipples.
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
her breasts look like coconuts.
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
she could suck-start a Harley!
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
I fucked her and I's a chick!
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
she blind and seeing another man.
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
she rollerskates on busses.
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
you can go bowling with her boogers!
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
when she stands up the sun goes out
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
her belly button's got an echo.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
she sweats Crisco!
she used bacon as a band-aid!
Texaco buys Oil from her
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
she spits butter!
traffic slows down when she smiles!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
she hula hoops with a cheerio
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
you can see whats on her mind
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
even a wig wouldn't help!
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
she can see into the future.
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
one leg and a bicycle.
a short leg and walks in circles.
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
an afro with a chin strap.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
a short arm and can't applaude.
one hand and a Clapper.
a 'fro with warning lights.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
a wooden leg with branches.
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
three fingers and a banjo.
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
you have to go outside to change your mind.
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to creep up on bathwater.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
she rollerskates on busses.
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
you can go bowling with her boogers!
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
when she stands up the sun goes out
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
her belly button's got an echo.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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