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Yo Mama Jokes - You Momma Jokes - SO FAT - SO STUPID
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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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YO MAMA SO FAT >>

I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil

her belly button's got an echo

her picture takes two frames.

she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us

a picture of her would fall off the wall

when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo Momma Jokes and Insults

when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

she wakes up in sections

the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale

when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"

when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean

she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book

a picture of her fell off the wall!

she could be the eighth continent

when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up

and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.

when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

she uses a mattress for a tampon.

sets off car alarms when she runs.

whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"

when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

when she works at the movie theatre, she works as the screen.

even her clothes have stretch marks!

you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!

they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"

instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

she got hit by a parked car!

the animals at the zoo feed her.

she eats Wheat Thicks.

she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"

instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

when she has sex, she has to give directions!

she's on both sides of the family


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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!

she has to creep up on bathwater.


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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>

she thought meow mix was a record for cats.

when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.

she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"

she cant tie her own shoes

I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.

when you get on top of her your ears pop

she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon

she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops

she sells shade in the summer

she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

she sits on the TV and watches the sofa

when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun

she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.

she wakes up in sections

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight

she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.

she got on an airplane and only the wings took off

she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship

she got fired from a blow-job.

when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"

the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"

she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat

when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"

she influences the tides

she asked you "What is the number for 911".

she could trip over a cordless phone!

she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

her senior picture had to be an aerial view

when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck

when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

she's on both sides of the family

she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.

small objects tend to orbit her

she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose

when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"

she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.

she thought asphalt was a skin disease. she thought Delt a Airlines was a sorority.

when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.

she has her own zip code

when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"

she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed

she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals

she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

she fell and made the Grand Canyon

the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale

when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"


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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>

she farted and put herself into an orbit

that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller

she shows up on radar

even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

they have to grease the bath tub to get her out

she turned Medusa to stone!

when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"

the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"

when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight

instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother

I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back

she cant reach her back pocket

she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon

when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"

she stands in two time zones

she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

She has to use a VCR as a beeper

she got on an airplane and only the wings took off

they push her face into dough to make cookies.

she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor

her belly button's got an echo

she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed

she needs a building permit for her girdle

she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second

she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops

she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button

when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"

your daddy takes her to work so he doesn't need to kiss her goodbye

when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck

she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

a picture of her would fall off the wall

she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

she made an onion cry.

she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills

she sits on the TV and watches the sofa

she sells shade in the summer

when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo

she's on both sides of the family

that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

her senior picture had to be an aerial view

her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

the only thing attracted to her is gravity

she could be the eighth continent

when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds

we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs


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YO MAMA SO OLD >>

she used to baby-sit Jesus.

she's in Jesus's yearbook!

the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

her birth-certificate expired.

that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

her birth certificate says expired on it.

she has Jesus' beeper number!

her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

she owes Jesus 3 bucks!



she planted the first tree at Central Park.

she owes Jesus a nickel.

she has all the apostles in her black book.

when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

when she was young rainbows were black and white.

she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

Jurassic Park brought back memories.

she baby-sat for Jesus.

her birthday expired.

she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

she watches PBS.

when she reads the bible she reminisces.

she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.

she has a Jesus Starter jacket.

she was a waitress at the last supper.

she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

her memory is in black and white.

when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

she has Adam & Eve's autographs.

she drove a chariot to high school.

she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

when she was in school there was no history class.

when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.

she used to baby-sit Yoda.

she has an autographed bible.

she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

she farts out mummy dust.

she co-wrote the ten commandments.

she owes Moses a quarter.

she's got Jesus' beeper number.

when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.

the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

she ran track with dinosaurs.

her social security number is 1.


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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>

she can't afford to pay attention!

when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!

she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

she drives a peanut.

your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.


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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>

she went to night school and was marked absent!

that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

she spits chocolate milk!


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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>

she can play handball on the curb.

she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

she does backflips under the bed.

she poses for trophies!

you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!


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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>

she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.

Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

her tits give sour milk.

she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"

the fishery be paying her to leave

I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.

she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.

she breeds crabs.

that her shit is glad to escape.

when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"

when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt

she has to creep up on bathwater.

she made Speed Stick slow down.

she made right guard turn left.

she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.

they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.

she made speed stick slow down.

she brings crabs to the beach

I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.

she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."

she's got more clap than an auditorium.

her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.

she made Right Guard turn left.



she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!


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YO MOMMA LIKE >>

a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.

a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.

a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.



a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.

a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.

a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.

Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.

a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.

a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.

Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing

a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.

a window, always open.

a door knob, everybody gets a turn.

a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.

7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.

a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.

Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.

Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.

chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!

a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.

a mail box, open day and night.

Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"

a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.

a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.

cake mix, 15 servings per package!

Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.

a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!

a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.

a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.

a microwave, one button and she's hot.

Discover card, she gives cash back.

a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.

a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"

the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.

cheap liquor, tastes like shit.

a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!

potato chips-- Fri-to Lay

Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.

a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.

a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!

mustard, she spreads easy.

a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.

Denny's... open 24 hours.

an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.

a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.

an ATM, open 24 hours.

Burger King... Your way, right away.

a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.

McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.

a shotgun: one cock and she blows!

a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.

a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.

a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.

a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!


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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>

if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.

she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.

she has afros on her nipples.

her breasts look like coconuts.

Bigfoot is taking her picture!

she shaves with a weedwacker.

she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

she's got afros on her nipples!

she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.

she shaved her ass and she disappeared.

she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."

you almost died of rug burn at birth.


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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>

she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"

when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!

she could suck-start a Harley!

she blind and seeing another man.

that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.

she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive

she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!

that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.

I fucked her and I's a chick!

is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.


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YO MAMA SO BIG >>

when she stands up the sun goes out

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

her belly button's got an echo.

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

she rollerskates on busses.

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

you can go bowling with her boogers!


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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>

she sweats Crisco!

Texaco buys Oil from her

she used bacon as a band-aid!


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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>

traffic slows down when she smiles!

she spits butter!


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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>

she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.


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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>

she has to wear a belt with spandex.

she turned sideways and dissapeared.

she hula hoops with a cheerio


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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>

even a wig wouldn't help!

you can see whats on her mind

that she took a shower and got brain-washed.


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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>

she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.

she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.


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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>

she's jealous of the wall!


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YO MAMA GLASSES >>

she can see into the future.

that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.




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YO MOMMA HAS >>

one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

one leg and a bicycle.

a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.

4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

a glass eye with a fish in it.

so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

green hair and thinks she's a tree.

a 'fro with warning lights.

a short arm and can't applaude.

an afro with a chin strap.

one hand and a Clapper.

a short leg and walks in circles.

10 fingers--all on the same hand.




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YO MAMMA GOT >>

two wooden legs and one is one backward.

a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

a bald head with a part and sideburns.

so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.

a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!



a wooden leg with branches.

a metal afro with rusty sideburns.

three fingers and a banjo.


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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>

she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.

you have to go outside to change your mind.

that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.


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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>

she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

roaches ride around on dune buggies!

she has to creep up on bathwater.


*****************

YO MOMMA SO BIG >>

when she stands up the sun goes out

she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

her belly button's got an echo.

when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

she rollerskates on busses.

when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.

when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

you can go bowling with her boogers!


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YO MAMA JOKES >>

YO MOMMA JOKES >>

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