YO MAMA SO FAT >>
she puts on her belt with a boomerang
she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
the phone company gave her two area codes
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
sets off car alarms when she runs.
she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
she has to iron her pants on the driveway
Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!
when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
she's on both sides of the family
she has to buy two airline tickets.
her belly button's got an echo
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
she cant tie her own shoes
that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.
when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.
when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
when she back up she beep.
she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
even her clothes have stretch marks!
when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.
that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
when she farts the whole planet came out.
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
when she works at the movie theatre, she works as the screen.
when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
she could be the eighth continent
when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.
she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.
a picture of her would fall off the wall
when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
she's got her own area code!
we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
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YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
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YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
she invented a solar powered flashlight.
she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"
she wiped her ass before she took a shit.
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us
she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.
she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon
when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
a picture of her would fall off the wall
it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
she fell in love and broke it
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.
when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
her favorite dress is a tent
she needs a building permit for her girdle
she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's
she sells shade in the summer
she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
she's on both sides of the family
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.
she could trip over a cordless phone!
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
that she sold the car for gas money.
that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
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YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
she turned Medusa to stone!
when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"
she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
she stands in two time zones
she could be the eighth continent
she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico
she made an onion cry.
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
cows graze by her for the shade
she looks out the window and gets arrested!
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
the only thing attracted to her is gravity
she's on both sides of the family
that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out
the NHL banned her for life
she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon
she makes blind kids cry
she has her own zip code
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel when they want to clean it
when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
people jog around her for exercise
she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
she farted and put herself into an orbit
for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
when she was born, her mom said, "What a treasure!"; and your dad replied, "Yeah, let's go bury it"
even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
when she gets up, the sun goes down
they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
she influences the tides
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YO MAMA SO OLD >>
she has all the apostles in her black book.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
she drove a chariot to high school.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
her birthday expired.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
she watches PBS.
I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
she baby-sat for Jesus.
when she was in school there was no history class.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
her social security number is 1.
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
she farts out mummy dust.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
her memory is in black and white.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she has an autographed bible.
her birth-certificate expired.
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YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
she can't afford to pay attention!
she drives a peanut.
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
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YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
she spits chocolate milk!
she went to night school and was marked absent!
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
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YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she poses for trophies!
she can play handball on the curb.
she does backflips under the bed.
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YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
that her shit is glad to escape.
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she breeds crabs.
a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
she brings crabs to the beach
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
the fishery be paying her to leave
she made Speed Stick slow down.
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
she made right guard turn left.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
she made speed stick slow down.
her tits give sour milk.
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
she made Right Guard turn left.
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
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YO MOMMA LIKE >>
a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.
a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.
a library, open to the public.
a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still l comes back for more.
a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.
a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.
a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.
Denny's... open 24 hours.
Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
a microwave, one button and she's hot.
a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
potato chips-- Fri-to Lay
a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Discover card, she gives cash back.
a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
an ATM, open 24 hours.
a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
mustard, she spreads easy.
a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
Burger King... Your way, right away.
McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
a mail box, open day and night.
a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.
a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.
a doorknob, everyone gets a turn!
cake mix, 15 servings per package!
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YO MAMMA SO HAIRY >>
she shaves with a weedwacker.
she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
you almost died of rug burn at birth.
she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
she's got afros on her nipples!
she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
her breasts look like coconuts.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!
if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
she has afros on her nipples.
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YO MOMA SO SLUTTY >>
is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
I fucked her and I's a chick!
she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
she could suck-start a Harley!
she blind and seeing another man.
she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
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YO MAMA SO BIG >>
you can go bowling with her boogers!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
her belly button's got an echo.
when she stands up the sun goes out
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she rollerskates on busses.
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YO MOMMA SO GREASY >>
Texaco buys Oil from her
she sweats Crisco!
she used bacon as a band-aid!
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YO MAMMA SO YELLOW >>
traffic slows down when she smiles!
she spits butter!
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YO MOMA SO LAZY >>
she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
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YO MAMA SO SKINNY >>
she has to wear a belt with spandex.
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
she hula hoops with a cheerio
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YO MOMMA SO BALD >>
that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
you can see whats on her mind
even a wig wouldn't help!
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YO MAMMA SO TALL >>
she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
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YO MOMA SO FLAT >>
she's jealous of the wall!
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YO MAMA GLASSES >>
that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
she can see into the future.
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YO MOMMA HAS >>
a short arm and can't applaude.
one hand and a Clapper.
an afro with a chin strap.
a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
10 fingers--all on the same hand.
green hair and thinks she's a tree.
4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
a 'fro with warning lights.
a short leg and walks in circles.
so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
a glass eye with a fish in it.
one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
one leg and a bicycle.
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YO MAMMA GOT >>
a bald head with a part and sideburns.
so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
three fingers and a banjo.
a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
two wooden legs and one is one backward.
a wooden leg with branches.
so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
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YO MOMA SO SMALL >>
that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.
she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
you have to go outside to change your mind.
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YO MAMA SO DIRTY >>
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
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YO MOMMA SO BIG >>
you can go bowling with her boogers!
when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
she whistles bass. she uses bowling balls for earrings.
she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
her belly button's got an echo.
when she stands up the sun goes out
when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
she rollerskates on busses.
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YO MAMA JOKES >>
YO MOMMA JOKES >>
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